In Russia, I was a “strong 5 from 10” type. Small, curvy, well educated, with many interests in various areas, I was not in the centre of attention. Surprisingly, this has changed once I moved abroad – but not necessarily for the best. This article will be a summary of stories from some countries, which shows, how men around the world are fixed on the idea of “Russian brides”, and how to deal with that.
Tag Archives: psychology
A friend of mine has inspired me to write this article. Living abroad since 2013, I already forgot, how many character traits, clichés, ways of thinking and bad manners I overcame in order to be where I am now. Every time I give a comment about a need to change any “typically Russian” behaviour, I get something like “You are a Russian hater!” in exchange. As a “Russian hater” (a hate of myself, I suppose, by definition…), I might feel free to just give it all and list here ALL “typically Russian” traits, which will make a sustainable international career almost impossible to any Russian who sees no need to change.
If you think that everybody will accept you “as you are” and you will have no need in changing yourself while building your career abroad – you are very wrong. These 7 character traits will cost you a career, no matter, how smart, talented and experience you are –therefore, just trust me and get rid of them!
For my international readers: We usually don’t speak about this topic with foreigners, as we don’t expect people, who don’t know how life in Russia looks like, to understand our point of view. So please be nice in commenting, as this is a very difficult topic to talk about 😉
The reasons, why being gay is not widely accepted in Russia, are very complex.
During my international Master program, I spent the first semester in Barcelona. There I have seen a scene when two guys with long beards were lying on the grass and kissing each other – and I felt uncomfortable. Nevertheless, not because that was a homosexual couple, but because they have been kissing in public. I came from a very conservative country, we do not really appreciate that.
The competitions between men and between women are different. Men compete with each other: who has the best job, who has the most expensive car, who has the most beautiful girlfriend…They search for motivation to be better than they are, better than the others may become. Have you ever seen a man putting his efforts into a 3-months die-for-a-cake diet just to look like Ms. Perfect in his OLD bikini? “When I was 19, my weight was 53 kg!”, “When I was 22, I had no wrinkles!”, “When I was 30, I could wear shorter skirts!” A woman is competing not just with others – to be better, stronger, slimmer, smarter – she is competing with herself in the future AND herself in the past. And this is the game she will only lose.
And when I was 30…and when I was 40…and when you were a little baby, my dear, you had no complexes at all!!
I really love the movie „Devil wears Prada“ – but not because it shows what may happen to you if you are too focused on your career. And even not because it is about fashion. It highlights that not everybody will accept changes in you – and not everybody will be glad to see your success. The poor girl gave her best to look better, to have an opportunity to get a better brighter future – and what was the result? “I liked the old one more”.
In JOY and sorrow, they say. Neither is your friend a person who stays with you only when you are happy, nor is the one who is there only when you are crying. A true friend as well as a true partner will be there for you no matter if you are in the hell or on the top. I believe, the ability to accept success of others and to be happy for them is one of the most rare character traits.
Have you seen those guys getting a promotion just because they discuss football with your boss? Your blood should be boiling by now – unless you are one of them. How can your boss be so unfair and prioritize his own hobby giving the promotion to your co-worker who can talk about football the whole day long – and not YOU, who worked from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m. during the last 6 months straight?! This is just psychology, my dear – and so far it has been working against you.