One of the
reasons, why I ended up having few but very strong and talented friends, is
simple: they all can be happy for me. At any time. At any level of my “happy”.
If I would earn a million tomorrow, they would be glad for me and would ask,
how I did it. And I would definitely tell them. I would come one week later,
and each of them would already have 5 million. “Damn, I need to catch up!” – I would
tell you to surround yourself only with people of “the same level”, as my mom
used to say. But remember that being a friend is not only sharing the worst
moments of your life, but also being able to be happy for somebody else. The
friendship includes both sides, and there is no way around it.
There are two reasons why people get disappointed with their own dreams not coming true: those dreams are too large and ambitious or too far away to reach. Some people say, one should reduce his expectations to become happier. I strongly disagree with that opinion. In order to achieve a big dream, one should see it not as a light at the end of the road but as a puzzle spread across the road from many smaller dreams. Each time you do a step, you make a small dream come true, which motivates you to go further and inspires to seek new big dreams. You want to start a new life abroad? There are the dreams about passing the English test, getting your papers done on time, getting an invitation, getting a visa…so many small things to celebrate and be happy about each day!
Let the most important dreams in your life be a road, not a destination!
It is hard to focus on work during one of the most beautiful seasons of the year – the time before Christmas holidays. Ok, probably, not the most beautiful here in Northern Germany, as we have rain all the time, but colder countries have luck for sure 😉
Some people are bored and can’t wait for holidays to come; some, like me, are sad because their families are too far away; some are scared to show up in a new family. Under the line would be: your team is unmotivated and not concentrated. Here is a very good Christmas exercise, which push your team’s motivation up to the top, will not take more than 30 minutes and will create a beautiful example of the teamwork.
Get some really nice Christmas cookies. Prepare 30 shits of origami paper and promise your team members that everybody who will do some of the Christmas star pieces will get cookies accordingly. Voila, you get several grownups happily folding pieces of paper – and at the end you get a beautiful Christmas star!
If you cannot motivate yourself to go to work on Monday, just remember that the MOTIVATION has been discovered just about a century ago. Before that people just WORKED – so, why don’t you just take it easy and forget that you need any motivation at all?))
The thruth is, all those successful applications for conferences, summer schools, round tables, exchange programs etc. made my career to a game. I know that I will win, and this is only the matter of time and practice.
When people think that what I achieved, meaning all the international summer schools, conferences, projects, employers etc., is a coincidence, they are wrong. The reality is: I have almost no luck, meaning this incredible force that should make your dreams come true with no efforts from your side. Already at school, I learned that, if I don’t learn 2 questions from 150 and will have 3 questions in my exam, I will have both questions I did not learn in my exam.
The success is as “simple” as mathematics: the more often you fail, the more often you win. If a person would be lucky every 21st try, and he tries only 20 times, he would never see the success and feel like a looser. But the success is not about you trying one time and getting it or not getting it. It is about trying again and again until you have it. I know that the luck is not always on my side, so I do 320% in order to get 100%. Sometimes I have luck, and you may see the result for all those 320%. Nevertheless, this only from time to time.
Neither the luck nor the coincidence lead you to your dreams. However, the simple insistence will do the job. So, do not give up after the first failure – this is only the first step leading you to what you desire!
It’s truly amazing, how people with less opportunities get inspired about simple things.
Being a “cool lady in a suit” myself, I always wonder, why those “cool guys in the suits” always act like I own them. Like I should convince them that I am worth their time, that my ideas are worth their time. They scan me from head to tall, deciding, whether my outfit makes me eligible for a talk with them, the business gods. And it does, and we talk.
Then I go to communes and SMEs and discuss the very same projects with them. And they are burning for changes, they are full of ideas, they are grateful for any attention.
Then the projects become successful. One day later the same people go into Armani, buy a business suits and turn out to be the new generation of “cool guys in the suits”.
The success is a thing that comes and goes. Hopefully, then comes again. If at the point, when you are down, you don’t like who you became, you’re done. It is you who you will always need to work with. It is you who you always should tolerate. Therefore, by all means, try to be a people person you would love to work with. The mask of coolness suits only those who depend on others with the same mask.
In Russia, I was a “strong 5 from 10” type. Small, curvy, well educated, with many interests in various areas, I was not in the centre of attention. Surprisingly, this has changed once I moved abroad – but not necessarily for the best. This article will be a summary of stories from some countries, which shows, how men around the world are fixed on the idea of “Russian brides”, and how to deal with that.