Me: „I can’t make it to the meeting on time if I go to the jour fix at 10:00. My meeting is at 11:00, and it’s a 15 min. walk.”
Assistant: “No problem! Take the corporate electro scooter (Remark: This is not a usual “Italian scooter”, but the one like you used to have when you were a child!) and you will be up on that hill in no time!”
Me: “You must be kidding. Me staying straight on high heels in an Italian coat on the roller..By the way, how fast can it go?”
Assistant: “Up to 30 km/h!”
Me: “Give it to me right now!!! ”
If you cannot motivate yourself to go to work on Monday, just remember that the MOTIVATION has been discovered just about a century ago. Before that people just WORKED – so, why don’t you just take it easy and forget that you need any motivation at all?))
If I disappear for a while, this usually indicates that I spend time in a country with a veee-eery low-speed internet 😉 Interesting articles about India and the working culture in that amazing, very different from everything I knew before, country will follow soon.
Right now, I am trying to keep up with the politics from the last month while balancing my words in the political circles at my new job.
Here you go – fresh fast food politics for those with some humour!
In addition to the most smart phrase about free internet resources like Gmail, free apps, Tweeter and Instagram etc., ““If you’re not paying for the product, you are the product“, I have one more idea to share today.
People, who are posting their travel destinations, flights and pictures and other things clearly showing that you are not at home and then wonder, why somebody broke into your house, are you kidding?!!!
PMP: If you still don’t get what a deadline is and that your clients sometimes want something from you, this is the time to get a professional certification.
Agile: If you want to pay us to understand that expectations of your clients change from time to time, deadlines may be moved and colleagues may not deliver on time, let’s get another certificate!
Scrum: If you work in IT, don’t like programming and want to become a Big Boss one day, here is an extra paper to give it a go!
Design Thinking: If you are not Picasso, we may at least teach you how to paint. The same way you will do innovations. Creativity through logics – for the most untalented.
CAE: If you still think that a good English is not a must have, you may spend some money on our certification!
If you know other expensive certificates, write your jokes in the comments 😉
People should be worth more than machines. That’s, probably, why the expectations from what a person CAN jumped to a very different level in past 15 years. It’s not enough anymore to be able to use a computer – it’s essential. Your English should be very good if you want to see any positive changes in your career; your ability to overcome work overloads should be impressive; your intercultural understanding should be very progressive; your creativity should jump up to the sky even if you’re a logical type; you should speak at least 2 foreign languages fluently; you must be a good team player at any time.
I am currently helping a friend to become creative. Yes, I am not joking. He is a very talented Senior Manager in a famous consulting company, who works at least 10 hours a day (this is Germany, my dear, just 10 years ago people would count every 15 minutes of the extra workload!) and analyses every issue logically, going into the depth of it until he finds a solution. As I am something in-between hard logics and creativity, I went to look for information on how to open one’s creativity. Guys, there are COURSES and even CERTIFICATES on creativity out there! People with absolutely different talents are expected to cover all the important personal traits available! Logics for creative people, creativity for mathematicians, language courses for engineers..
HR departments tell us that they are looking at the “individual strengths” of the candidates. Yes, they do – in order to push us with the additional courses to opposite directions, which creates an “all inclusive” employee.
The truth is, we will never be there. We will work extra hours, visit all the “complementary” courses in order to shift from our real talents to universal soldiers who can just a little bit of everything, burn in the gym in the evening to correspond to the beauty standards and take Arabic courses on the weekend. This will not change a thing.
Relax, we will never be there. As a person, who can a little bit of everything and speaks several languages fluently, I confirm I rely on you THAT damn much. Because we need people, who are experts in their fields and know the subject into the depth. So, just gain yourself a day off, take a deep breath, get a cup of good green tea and remember: you are talented in what you ARE talented – don not try to be somebody else and everybody at the same time.
Cities are what people create – cities are what people inside are. Some cities, just like we all, take, some give, some offer you people in exchange for a small fee of experience. While Barcelona always GIVES, Frankfurt immediately takes away. Most people come here for work, but never make their home here – therefore, you meet this very special “office city” without any expectations.
I paid for this visit with my time – a month, which disappeared right before my eyes. It’s time to get back to work!
Coming soon, starting tomorrow:
- Why confident talented Russians get fired in Europe
- 10 reasons why your education and work experience have no value abroad – and what to do with it
- Shopping time: which things people from CIS-countries do not value at home?