In Russia, I was a “strong 5 from 10” type. Small, curvy, well educated, with many interests in various areas, I was not in the centre of attention. Surprisingly, this has changed once I moved abroad – but not necessarily for the best. This article will be a summary of stories from some countries, which shows, how men around the world are fixed on the idea of “Russian brides”, and how to deal with that.
China is a well-known place for finding a husband. Suffering from the former state child-control politics leading to a gender unbalance, Chinese men have not enough potential brides within the country. As Russian women are family-oriented, less emancipated and independent than European ladies, Chinese men are very interested in finding a Russian bride. There are even special agencies for the Russian-Chinese “marriage exchange”.
Russian wife search agencies? Who needs those?.. In China, many foreign male professionals (who work in China for a period of 2-3 years in order to advance their career, earn a lot of money and enjoy the free life) just wrote me their phone numbers, city visit dates and hotel addresses via websites like Internations and MeetUps. Very straight forward, without any doubts or concerns that it may be unpleasant. Or, another case, on the weekend in shopping malls men asked me, whether I would like to be “taken shopping”. Sure, I came to the mall for you to pick me up.
This, however, was not different from my experience in the USA. During our Summer Innovation Program, a group of young men and ladies were attending a canoe even in one of the national parks. With three other ladies, we were waiting for lunch. Next to us there was an elderly well-dressed and sporty couple. They discussed something very quietly and politely asked, whether we come from Russia or Ukraine. How shocked I was, when the woman then smiled and told: “Girls, who would like to get a Green Card? We have a young unmarried son! Jason! Jason, where are you?”. We escaped the awkward situation, because the waiters invited us to lunch. Jason appeared to be a handsome fit young man, and it still be a puzzle to me, why he needed to be introduced to anybody..
Do you want a Green Card? I am in the city for 3 days – will you meet me in my hotel? Would you like to go shopping with me? Those are most polite questions I received. Can you imagine a German girl being asked questions like this on the daily basis? Or a Danish one? I really doubt this.
In 90th, there have been many Russian women with a one-way-ticket-to-anything kind of attitude, who tried to get married and change the country by all means. Thanks to them, we earned a reputation of a brides’ country. Then another political wall has fallen – and Chinese ladies started to hang out with foreign expats hoping to leave the country one day. Will China take the next prize “brides’ country of the year”? We will see. Nevertheless, one thing is clear: Russian women will need to work a lot to improve their reputation and to get rid of the “available for sale” title.
So, how can you actually live with the reputation, which you did not earn so far?
For instance, you can use the advertising and look for your prince charming as others did. Russian women are well known for their cooking skills, elegant appearance, passion for makeup and family-oriented attitude. This makes a great wife for an old-school man, who does not want an emancipated woman.
However, if you are a working professional, interested in a good family-career balance, you may have a different vision of yourself. It hurts sometimes to feel yourself like a piece of meat when you are well-educated. It might be very unpleasant to work with male colleagues with a Russian whore cliché in their minds. Moreover, even less enjoyable it will be to explain to any man in any country that “you are not about that, you just came for a conference/work/exhibition” during a business party. I saw many Russian women trying to overcome this problem by wearing no makeup, dress in black simple suits, posing like men while talking..which is not necessarily the most attractive solution. I would advise you on the opposite – go extra female. Be proud of yourself. Set your boundaries where you wish to. Personally, I wear long hair, makeup and sometimes even pink suits or suits with flower prints to work. In time, I started to feel so confident in this role and made so many jokes about it that it became normal. I established my own brand – confident, visible, loud and Russian.
This is up to you, whether you will find using the “world‘s best bride” reputation to your advantage or will rebel and create your brand as a modern independent woman. The main goal is that you will not let the past of other women to influence your future. Be proud of who you are, where you come from and what you achieved – no matter in which part of the world you live.